Listening to our crucified Jesus

As we sang Hosanna in the highest and proudly held the palms to be blessed by our priest, I brought myself spiritually back to that very day. I reflected on how the people reverently spread their cloaks and palm branches they had cut from the fields. All cried," Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!" How could such a beautiful and reverent moment turn and become the passion and death of our Lord and Savior? I felt it the moment mass ended and our beautiful reverent church seemed to turn into a conference hall. With the last note of the recessional song, all reverence to His importance turned to disregard. Like He had left the building, and and maybe our conscience.
I spent this Lenten season trying my best to understand God's will for me at this time in my life, listening to our crucified Jesus and giving in to the "trust" he asked of me when he died for ME and my sins. I feel He allowed me to understand how so often we live day to day never taking the time to listen to the Father. Disregarding His guidelines, the ones that offered Eternal life, the same words that he gave Moses. How is it, one minute we are praising and honoring Him and the next our wretchedness allows us to deny Him again and again, from fear of religious persecution, or maybe a simple inconvenience for that matter. I sometimes feel like a part of that crowd which was so easily swayed to allow the Crucifixion of the man they had promised loyalty. I see this happening and keep asking myself how long can this go on before our feasting turns into destruction and death. The Jesus that had been hiding in the desert has come out and revealed to us once more, the realness that His death was given to us as the greatest gift ever. Somehow, I feel that we are missing the chance to accept his mercy, assuring Him that his passion and death is reverently and humbly acknowledged. I will not allow this Lenten season to pass without throwing myself at his feet and washing myself in the ocean of His mercy. Jesus I TRUST that you will show me the way to the Father as you promised. With your help, I will not follow the crowd, but quietly kneel with my eyes fixed on Your wounds.