Friday, March 13, 2009
I read about the three on the mountain. How they were so captivated by His transfiguration that they wished to pitch tents and live with Him just as in that moment. I find myself often doing just as Peter, James and John, basking in the light of His love. I don't want to move for fear I may step out of that light back into the darkness of this world. But, I come back to the world with desires greater than can be imagined by most. It's funny how he calls some of us so intimately that we feel drawn to drop everything and follow. It's my understanding that there is talk of some sort of awakening, or warning that will come. The Blessed virgin speaks of it. I sometimes wonder if some of us have already received that warning. The understanding of how wrong we were about our lives. I felt I was okay,I went to church on Sunday and holy days. I lived what I thought to be a good life, never understanding the reality of His presence. All of a sudden He was in my head helping me make choices, preaching, reminding me of every word I heard at mass. I felt so drawn to be near him, maybe I thought I might sit at His right hand. I don't know. I don't really think so, but I can understand how James and John, witnessing that light first hand might, have believed that they were called to be that close to Him. Why is it that my ego might for a moment desire to bask in His glory? All that I know is that even after the gifts and graces that he allows me to share, he always reminds me of the cup he was asked to drink. I have to remember to follow closely, but understand that I have no say as to what my part in all of this is, but try to follow willingly, carrying that cross and drinking from the cup. It is only in this act of true faith that I may be allowed in the smallest of ways to help in the redemption.