I don't watch much television, when it does happen I like to think it was His choice a break or something. A small outing you might say given from Him. I find no use for television. People think odd of me for that, but I never chose to stop watching. He chose for me. One day I just stopped. Now I have time to sit and read and meditate. I find that silence is my best company.
My favorite silence is in the darkness of the early morning. I sit on the floor in the darkness talking to Him. I ask Him how I should feel about things and how He feels about my reaction to matters of the day before. The best thing is His prospective is always surer, always gentler then mine. How is it that my thoughts realign so quickly when smoothed out by his gentle guidance. Why then, don't I give everything to Him. I want to, but yet stop myself. I want so badly to trust in all matters that He guides me, yet worry my humanness gets between us. How do I fix that? My prayers of this consume my sleep. I find myself at every conscious moment pleading with Him. Purify my thoughts Lord. I pray Jesus I trust in you, yet wonder how sure is that trust. Allow me today Lord, to let go again, and fall completely into you love.