Friday, September 11, 2009

Can I continue to receive on the tongue

In last Sunday's bulletin our pastor published a letter written by our bishop. It stated that because of the H-1 N-1 virus we would no longer partake in the precious blood and that he strongly suggested that we no longer receive the Eucharist on the tongue. I really don't understand. THIS IS GOD! He would not allow the virus to be passed through His body and the blood. Am I wrong? Well anyway, my husband and I agreed that we would try to receive on the hand. Since I am a cantor and he is a lector, we would be on the altar and noticed receiving on the tongue after this letter was published. Our parochial vicar and the communicants seemed confused when we put up our hands in humble obedience. How does a person know where to draw the line. I have asked reputable religious friends saying people would notice. Each time I was told maybe people should notice. It seems like things are going haywire around me in many different forms. Jesus asks us to remember Him with His body and blood. He doesn't say some of the time, when danger of illness isn't likely. All I can do is think back hundreds of years when all kinds of illness and plagues spread without cures. Again, Jesus IS GOD, He is all knowing then and now. He would not have had this sharing of the Body and Blood if he was worried about any of that. I am just stumped.
Yesterday during adoration I asked Jesus if He had anything He wanted to discuss with me. I often speak to Him in this way. I saw myself receiving on the tongue. It was like I was looking at myself from the side. Then it was like I was shown him entering right into my heart. I can't explain it, because it all happened in my minds eye in time that was without time. In the time I take one breath or in the blink of my eyes. It wasn't even real or actual. It was like I melted away and my heart was what was left. Any way, not really knowing what this meant , I received on the hand again today, but when I picked up the Eucharist to place it in my mouth, time stopped. I couldn't stop my gaze upon the cross in the center of the Eucharist. It was the same gaze that I am allowed when receiving on the tongue. When the Eucharist fills my whole field of vision. When I focus on the beauty and the gift I am about to receive. It seemed to last a very long time. I wonder if the priest noticed? I wish I could just go to my pastor and ask. Unfortunately we aren't close and I always seem to irritate him. Our parochial vicar said he was fine with me continuing to receive on the tongue. This was because he seemed to continue to aim at my mouth. I had to thrust my hands upwards to give him the hint as to where the Eucharist was to be placed. So I asked him. I don't know what I am going to do. I think this is a mistake and I don't know what to do about it.