The opening prayer of sunday mass was for me. We often say that in our family. Like Jesus himself picked that verse just for me to hear. It went like this;" Father you taught us to overcome our sins by prayers, fasting and works of mercy. When we are discouraged by our weakness, give us confidence in your love...." I wrote this on Sunday and now on Wednesday I really see what I thought I knew.
I have been struggling with a sin of judgement. I know I'm not allowed to judge but the thoughts keep creeping into my mind. Why does this person do the things he does. I was reminded that he is Jesus, not just a part of him, all of him. Still I couldn't or maybe can't seem to get past things. Today I was given the lesson of the prayer. On Wednesday's I drive people to see a Rabbi that has a gift of prophecy and meets with christians to share inspirational thought. I can't explain it, but I feel Jesus wants me there. At first I thought it was for me. We would go, I was able to share with like minded people, prayers and encouragement. Somehow I ended up being asked to drive 2 Jewish women a mother and daughter there. For weeks this has bothered me. It changed the whole day. No prayer, much worldly discusion,etc.etc. No matter how much I wanted to say NO, I don't want this, I want it the way it was, a ME day, I kept hearing "what so ever you do to the least of my brothers.........me." Today one of them, the daughter, fell apart at the seams, explaining how awful her life was, details that I don't care to share. The mother explained how difficult it was for her......I found myself saying to this girl and her mother," You have to forgive and go on, forgiving over and over no matter how many times it takes. Seventy times seven if that is what it takes and while doing this you also have to put all of your trust in Adonai (God in our terms). Why was it so easy to say and so hard to hear myself? I have no idea, but maybe it is in these works of mercy that He teaches clearly how to overcome sin.
