33 Days as Monica

I arrived to morning mass, giving myself time to think about and pray for my mother. She died on this day December 16,2006. Instead, I started thinking about my grandmother, her mother, who died on December 17,1960, the year I was born. I didn't know her, but feel she held me many times those first weeks of my life. My grandmother came to our house every night for dinner. This is what my sister and brother told me about her. My mother loved her very dearly and my father who was somewhat wild, respected her and all was peaceful and typical of family life in those days(incidentally he died on December 15, 1996). I pictured her holding me and maybe giving me one finger to hold back. I pictured our eyes meeting and that simple love shared between a tiny child and their mother's mother. I was Monica then, named after my father's mother. She, my Granny Helen held me and loved me as Monica. My grandmother died, devastating my mother and removing all security in her relationship with my dad. Granny had kept him in line. My mother changed my name to Helen, after her mother and my Granny Helen, so I have lived my live as Helen Monica, two women that I really never knew. It's funny how we can love people we didn't ever know and feel their prayers and kindness through small graces given by God.
I love you Momma and hope you are with Granny Helen and Dad and all our family. This time of year continues to be hard for me as I'm sure it was for you.
You are in my prayers.

Helen Monica Putriment Maciolek