When listening to this morning's gospel, something came to me. A vision of the cross as a perfect symbol for our faith. This was the reading,Matthew 22:34-40,"one of them, a scholar of the law, tested him(Jesus)by asking,"Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?" He said to him,"You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: you shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments."
I have been struggling lately trying to understand the way God, and Jesus and Mary for that matter speak to my heart. A way that seems so different than most people I know. My confessor once told me something to the effect,"There are two types of faith, vertical and horizontal. Your faith seems to be vertical when most people's is horizontal." I hadn't heard this before but feel maybe Jesus is teaching me with this reading, that he intended our faith to be a combination of the two. I hate to admit that I spend hours and hours a day conversing with God, Jesus, Mary our Mother, the saints and angels. I can compare it only to the feeling I had when courting my now husband. I can think of nothing else. When I am awake, when I am asleep, when I am working, and when I am resting. Every moment is filled with thoughts of Him and them and how I might become closer. This, to me is the vertical faith my priest spoke about. This, to me is the "Love the Lord with all your heart, mind and soul. This love allows my heart to long to share this feeling with everyone. It is contagious! That, to me is the horizontal part of our faith. Go out and spread the good news! "Love your neighbor as yourself." So this came to me in a split second during the gospel. If we put both aspects of faith together we get the cross, something I wish never to give up.
After mass while sitting in the Adoration chapel, at the end of my prayers, I opened my Imitation of Christ to a picture of Jesus with these words under it. "I am the truth" It felt like a perfect end to my morning mass and meditation/adoration. My prayer;
Jesus, I thank you for all of the beautiful gifts you have given me this day. I love you!, with my whole heart,my whole soul,my whole mind, and with all my strength. I thank you for bringing me to that place you spoke so wonderfully to me about, in the past. I now understand that that place is you here, living in my own heart. So close that you are with me here at every moment. I beg you, never allow this to end. Never allow our hearts to be apart from one another, for by that, I would die a thousand deaths. I give you my heart from now into eternity. Amen
