Jesus will be there, so will I

I have been called to represent my faith(Roman Catholic) at the Jesus Fest in my area. This was revealed to me through prayer in front of the blessed sacrament. So many different things confirmed my thoughts and prayers, so I inquired and made arrangements to be there. Many people in my community have warned me, even tried to convince me to bale out. Maybe run as fast an far away from this event as I can. I don't even think they have attended the event. Still with the support of my husband I will be there to share my love of Jesus with whomever comes to my table. I feel that there is something wrong with the walls that have sprung up between christian faiths. I have NO right to judge. If there is a celebration for Jesus, I AM GOING TO BE THERE.

Words I read at morning prayer: Romans 14: 12-13, 17-19
"Every one of us will have to give an account of himself before God. Therefore we must no longer pass judgement on one another, Instead you should resolve to put no stumbling blocks or hindrance in your brother's way.The Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating or drinking, but of justice, peace, and the joy that is given by the Holy Spirit. Whoever serves Christ in this way pleases God and wins the esteem of men. Let us, then, make it our aim to work for peace and to strengthen one another."

When the Holy spirit places so strongly into my heart and mind an action like this, I have to trust. I can not let the evils of the world discourage me. Jesus will be there! So will I.

Reflecting on Abraham

I can't help but reflect on today's 1st reading Genesis 22:1b-19. "God put Abraham to the test." Anyone who reads the bible or listens at mass knows Abraham is asked to offer his only son. I want so badly to follow in the footsteps of Abraham. Many times God has led me into a fear filled situation. I try with all my being to follow His will. My struggle is that as soon as I do it, I start to doubt. I know in my head, doubt doesn't come from the Lord. Please Jesus from this moment, I hand my whole life over to you. I can't give you half of my heart. Take it all. Leave me with noting, because unless you hold my whole heart I will always worry that I may want something left for myself. But, if I give it all to you, I will have nothing to lose. I am yours Lord, I am yours, do with me as you will.

A simple thought that I finds so hard to explain

How is it that it seems so strange to explain to people that when I talk to God, he answers. I can not seem to let one moment go buy where I am not asking His opinion or Her(Mary's) help. When did they become the center of everything? I guess it happened slowly, but I still get so excited when my prayers are answered. I can't say" It's like he reads my mind," because He knows my mind. He knows,every thought and desire and plan and scheme. What a simple thought.

Coming out from under that bushel basket

(After hearing today's Gospel Mathew 5;17-19), I couldn't help but be reminded of my ongoing battle. Faith, family,and keeping both firmly in my life. A while ago I had an argument with a family member. I felt that after years of silence I somehow had to finally air my views on things. That was a BIG mistake. Now this person feels I hate her and probably think because of my spiritual search for Jesus that I somehow am superior to her. How can I be strong enough to stand firm on my commitment to follow the commandments. People don't follow! They say they are catholic and then brag of beliefs of right to life and right to prestige and power and every other vise that comes along. It's like if they haven't shot or stabbed someone, they haven't sinned. I want to be that person Jesus speaks about in Mathew's gospel. Yet, my family consider me some sort of fool. They think I am mean and thoughtless. They say, my beliefs have changed me. Well, they have! I know they have. I know I am not allowed to judge but fall so short of being Christ like. Why Jesus, didn't you have a bigger family so that I could read up on how you dealt with them. Sometimes I feel the more I search for HIM the less I understand. Is there anyone else out there that feels the way that I do? I sometimes feel scared to admit how difficult this faith thing is.

Cleans me ...

I have been very busy lately. So busy that I haven't written in a long time. This is hard for me because when I write I share my thoughts with whom ever might happen upon this blog.
For some time now I have lived my life totally in the hands of Our Lord and Savior through the intercession of His Mother. What I struggle with today is the handing over of my failings to Him. I want so deeply to be perfect for Him, yet I fall so very short of this. Lately, I have sat and pondered what Peter must have thought when he kept failing his friend and brother and Savior. How do I go beyond a time of extreme failure. I really don't know where to begin. I feel that I have been taught the handing over of my failings to God, but still don't quite know how to find forgiveness from myself to myself. The sadness overwhelms me. WILL I EVER LEARN!!! When I fall and fail at loving my sister perfectly I show Him my unclean side. I never want this to ever happen again. Oh Lord wash me from my iniquities, cleans me from my sins.

Something I wrote to help through the darkness

" I will send you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, he will testify to me. And you also testify, because you have been with me from the beginning....."We hear Jesus speaking of how to go on after he leaves Earth. He speaks of the spirit and the trust that we must have when we can't see Him anymore. We are to remember and trust that no matter what we hear, or how other people treat us. No matter How long we feel alone, even 'till our own death, we have to keep his words very close. In the depths of our hearts, in our minds.

No time for a blogging

I seem to be taking a break from blogging. It's not that I don't want to write. It's that the time I have available is not enough to do justice for my thoughts. I pray that maybe tonight I will have time. Shalom.